And I was the center of a maddened universe, kids and men

and ladies, all sun-baked, all with furious eyes, all strange faces,

inhabiting the confidence in me, wracking the nerve of me,

the frightful self in me, ganging up on me, cursing me, consuming

the whole of me, as if they couldn’t understand a don’t, a please,

a no, a stop; and all that came next was pain, and fear, and blood,

and shock, a blurry memory, a blanking of thought, a blacking

in my mind, the hazy images of victim and suspect—and how,

till now, I still don’t know which I am between the two.